I remember visiting a cousin who had just gotten married and was washing dishes in her nice new home. I was chopping it up in her kitchen with a mutual friend who had asked me what I had been doing since they last saw me. In addition to finishing school, I mentioned I was working on some music. That’s when the cousin doing dishes cut in with, “you still rap?” her tone implied that rap was a silly childhood pastime that I should have gotten over long ago. Back then there wasn’t a whole lot of talk about finding your passions and developing your talent like there is in the media nowadays. You just had to believe in yourself and go for it. I remember answering her question as if she was the one with the problem even though at the time I’m sure she didn’t realize she had one. She couldn’t see back then that her problem was that she has no dreams or goals other than what society told her she should be. The crazy thing is though after doing my thing for a minute and not being where I thought I should in my career, I began asking myself the same thing. Why do I still rap? I used to tell myself after I reached a certain age I was throwing in the towel, or if I don’t do XYZ (release an album, be famous, get my big break, etc.) by a certain year it’s a wrap. But then when the time comes to make good, the whole notion of quitting seems ridiculous. I fell in love with Rap music in Jr. high and it’s been an on again off again relationship ever since. Sometimes I view Hip Hop as “the one that got away” because the music and the culture can be so far removed from my everyday life. But then I get that burst of inspiration and can’t help myself. I’ll get a new song idea, a hook will come to me in a dream, I’ll have some relationship drama, and BAM- I’m pulled back in. Yeah it’s crazy. Like being in a relationship with someone you know isn’t good for you.